Nice title. This poem would benefit not only from revision, but from a format change. Like this: I've been hit by the lighting Bolt of tears Why did it Strike me? Why? or Where? I can't change facts but I try to Stand up but I can't.
Well, I can't seem to get the formatting to work exactly in this comment-box, but I can show you what I mean later. Even so, you may have already done something else. Effective line breaks help with pacing and cause certain elements to seem a bit more dramatic.
Nice title. This poem would benefit not only from revision, but from a format change. Like this:
ReplyDeleteI've been hit
by the lighting
Bolt
of
tears
Why did it Strike me?
Why? or
Where?
I can't change
facts but I try
to Stand up but I
can't.
Well, I can't seem to get the formatting to work exactly in this comment-box, but I can show you what I mean later. Even so, you may have already done something else. Effective line breaks help with pacing and cause certain elements to seem a bit more dramatic.